August 2009

How to Feel 10 Years Younger without Botox

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Last week I realized that I feel better at almost 39 than I did ever in my 20′s. Here is my non-Glamour magazine approved list of how to feel instantly younger without Botox or Spanx. (I can’t wear tight Spanx. I’m claustrophobic and I feel like a sausage. But, I wish I could include them here).

  1. Hair Color – I’m prematurely gray. My mom and uncle were totally white before their 30′s. When I see my roots, they aren’t so much gray as solid white. So, I will forgo all other expenses so I can afford hair color.
  2. Bangs – I can’t afford Botox and the thought of needles in my forehead kind of creeps me out. Bangs come to the rescue. (I actually did just see this in a magazine’s list of anti-aging tricks, but I knew that YEARS ago.)
  3. Chase a toddler all day. It’s hard to feel old when you’re running after a crazy toddler for 14 hours a day.
  4. Move fast. I’m a firm believer that no one can see your wrinkles really closely if you just move around a lot. It’s hard to focus too much.
  5. Bare Escentuals – My mom got me hooked on this a few years ago. The mineral makeup works for me. The makeup doesn’t collect in my wrinkles and feels nice. I haven’t tried the other brands, but I’m a believer now.
  6. Take classes. Any kind. Strangely, I feel instantly younger and revitalized when I am back in classes. You’d think I’d feel old as a boot next to a bunch of 20 somethings, but I actually feel younger when my brain is working.
  7. Join a gym with lots of older people. I work out at a university gym. While I try not to compare myself to the itsy bitsy 19 year-olds, there seems to be a large group of 70 and 80 somethings working out there. (Maybe retired professors). They are rock solid! So, while I feel infinitely younger than them, it’s also really promising to see older folks pumping serious iron.
  8. Cute shoes. Who needs to be told this? Finding cute shoes make me instantly lighter in my step. They are even better at a bargain.
  9. Have a spouse or partner a good bit older. My husband is 9 years older in chronological years. In reality, I think I’m two years older. But, no matter what, I always feel younger than him in comparison.
  10. Attend your spouse’s 30th High School Reunion. I didn’t know anyone there so I have no idea what anyone looked like in high school. And, everyone seemed really lovely (even though I was bored to tears). But, I felt like a kid there. While everyone else was talking about their grandchildren, we think we were the only couple with a toddler at home.

Moral of story – Age is relative. I’m just being silly, but I thought about my perception of aging this week and I feel great. Of course I have a disclaimer (I always do). I think that we (we the US) are pretty obsessed with NOT aging. I am not anti-aging. I don’t mind being almost 40 and am not trying to look like a 25 year old. I just want to be a healthy, well-aged almost 40 year old.

Tune in next week when I drop my son off at preschool. I may be the oldest mother. I may have a list of how crappy I feel.

***I have not received any compensation for mentioning Bare Escentuals products. They don’t know I exist except for my credit card in their database. But, if makeup suddenly shows up at my doorstep, I will be really happy. Hint hint.

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Celebrate Your Son’s Birthday at Hooters

Monday, August 3, 2009

Wow…doesn’t that sound fun. Would you take your 13 year-old son a lunch at Hooter’s as his 13th Birthday gift? One of my Facebook ‘friends’, a girl from my hometown who I worked with years ago, posted announcements that her husband was taking their son to Hooters. I sort of thought that was weird. And, then she posted pictures from Hooters of her son surrounded by Hooters girls. I got a really weird feeling in my stomach about that.

And, I haven’t really stopped thinking about it the last few days. I have a two year-old toddler. Thirteen seems like a long time away. But, it seems not so long away. Thirteen is STILL a child, right? Why does this bother me? I’m not religious. I’m not cringing about this from a morality perspective. But, it does bother me that we are supporting/pushing/encouraging our children to grow up so quickly. I know the Hooters girls are somewhat covered up (in their bad 1980′s orange or black shorts & pantyhose), but it is still weird.

Here’s why I think it bothers me so…beyond the obvious. My parents were pretty strict with me…gave me a hard time about skimpy clothes, makeup, etc. BUT, I grew up surrounded by a rather large collection of Playboy magazines throughout my house. (Yes, WTF?) Apparently, my (young) mom thought that if she subscribed to Playboy for my father, then he wouldn’t hang out at the barber shop & read nudie magazines. (Again, what?) Now, I didn’t realize this was too weird growing up. But, my mom was borderline prudish & we NEVER talked about sexuality, etc. But, I was surrounded by Playboys (which seem sort of tame these days).

At twelve, I was reading the dirty jokes section in the magazine. I studied the centerfold statistics (you know, their weight, bust size, stuff), wondering WHEN I would develop into one of these girls. Wasn’t that normal? Uh, no. When I got boobs, my parents insisted I cover myself up (no bikins or anything). I could not or would not articulate the hypocrisy or confusion. I just know that it seemed NORMAL that women should wear skimpy clothes (or none), but yet my parents were adamant that I needed to cover THEM up. Now, needless to say, I had a lot of weird body image problems (that’s a whole other set of posts).

What my inner feminist (and my former therapist) realized/discussed is that children can’t be expected to understand all of the complexities of sexuality and objectification of bodies. I’m not quite sure I understand it now, but I have zero judgment for adults exploring any or all aspects of sexuality. But, why is it necessary for a 13 year-old to have a birthday party with a bunch of Hooters girls? While he looked obviously happy in his Facebook pics, I can’t help thinking how he might view how women really look like…you know, without being objectified. As a mother, I want my son to appreciate women, their beauty, their brains, their wit and eventually their sexuality (when he’s like 40)…I hope he learns that women aren’t just hot little things in tiny shorts and shirts to be ogled for his sole benefit.

What do you think?

My disclaimers now.

1. My Dad magically stopped reading Playboy after I was in high school. I think it creeped him out that I was approaching the average age of most of the centerfold girls.

2. When I’ve asked my mom about her subscribing to Playboy for my Dad, she doesn’t really know. She saw herself as being progressive in a weirdly logical way. Of course, she laughs at it now.

3. I wonder how having Playboy’s all over our house affected my younger brother. Yes, he had lots of friends who liked to hang out our house. But, I wonder how it made him view and respect women. I’ve never asked this…don’t know if I can. That might be an idea.

4. I learned (in my 20′s) that my neigbor (2 years older guy) happily agreed to water our plants when we were on vacation. And, that most of his friends spent afternoons at our house because of the access to those crazy magazines.

5. I was embarassed by the magazines that I would run around hiding them before I had people over for parties or anything.

6. Yes, I do know that pretty much any TV show or public bus advertisement shows more skin than the Hooters girls. Doesn’t this make everything more confusing?

7. And, I apologize to anyone who is more educated in feminist studies. I really wish I had taken some courses in college. I wish I could articulate more of why this bothers me.

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